Sunday, January 23, 2011

Qs I want to ask myself

I got this suggestion from O Magazine..... Every day we ask questions to our self... Am I wearing my seat belt right now? What should I eat today? Did I turn off the oven? Lot of these questions are crucial for life. What about questions we ask for our soul? Were here are mine I ask my self!

1. Why do I not get motivated to hit the gym?
2. Why do I like chips over sweets?
3. Why do I have to finish a whole bag of chips? Why can't I eat with proportions for the day?
4. Why do I not let go of the relationship problems in my life? Why do they always come back to haunt me?
5. Why is it so easy for me to be a vegetarian but not be a healthy eater?
6. Why am I here? What am I meant to do in this life?
7. Where am i wrong?
8. What memories am I bartering and is the profit worth the price?
9. Why am I lazy?
10. Why do I thinks thoughts that hurt and not heal, when I know I should
11. Why is it that I am so successful in most aspects of my life but lack in some, mainly certain relationships (why the hell do I care) and my weight?
12. Am I stagnated in my life right now? Should I be kicking something now? Why am I not motivated to do so?
13. Will I be a good mom? When ever that may be...

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Relationship Drought

When a person leaves a relationship they leave a mark, but why does the mark turn into a scar

One person walked out of my life. It had nothing to do with me. It had something to do with my family feud (that has been going on since before my birth) She was supposed to be objective about the position I was in and understand my feeling but she choose to walk away. Her lose right.

Another example is one my friend. She was going though a rough patch. Divorce. She was trying to to move on with her life and I helped her, at least I thought I was helping her find a job in chicago. However she found a job in another place and moved away. Which is completely fine and I was very happy for her but the thing that hurt me was she never told me in person her dicision and lied to my face and constantly told me she took the chicago job and couldn't have the fact to tell me 'thank you but no thanks' She started avoiding my calls, stopped calling me. She was disrespectful to the friendship and who I was.

There are many more examples like this. Why can't they be straight to me. Why can't they be honest? Why do people have to be petty. If I come out of the box called my life and I see my self with all my relationships I see that I am expecting all the people in my life to live for greatness. I am expecting them to never make mistakes and to be more than human.

After this and many more disappointing relationships with friends and family members. I am giving up on them. My husband tells me I should have that many expectations on people. But I can't help myself. If I give them a hand to shake then I expect them to extend there hand to shake back.


God give me strength to walk alone

Monday, January 3, 2011

Ganesha


Hi Ganesha,


Thank you for coming into my life in many forms. I thought it was the lost cause after one of your idols broke, but you kept manifesting in my life through gifts from others. I drew this ganesha out of my heart.


Love,


Aparna

Mahi is Done with One

Where did the time go.  New different kind of memories due to covid19